Diversity

I was driving home last night thinking about our group and all that has gone on in the past few days and I got to thinking that everybody brings something different to our group – everyone has their own qualities that make this group so dynamic. So I thought I would list one good quality of everyone in the group as I see them. Now keep in mind just because I give some one else a quality doesn’t mean you don’t have it too – it just means it wasn’t the first one that popped into my head. Please feel free to make your own list of positives for everyone or add on to this one.

Queen of the Tay – outgoing and friendly - the first to chat me up ask me about myself and invite me to a “group” function. You welcomed me in before you even really knew me and I really appreciated that
Princess – quick wit, smart as a fox and funny as hell. You says the stuff that I wish I had thought of and might of if you had given me, oh, say half an hour.
Sunny – I think we had a very similar upbringing which gives us a connection. I feel we can relate to each other and I am looking forward to learning more about you.
JennyPooh- super easy to talk to – I feel like I have know you all my life. I feel like I could go to your house kick back and talk for hours and never run out of things to say.
Buttercup – bubbly and full of life. Always quick to laugh and fun to be around.
GypsyBug- wild and crazy gal – up for anything and ready for new challenges. Probably isn’t much that you haven’t tried ; )
MarthaSue – crazy funny stories and great storyteller. I usually laugh so hard I pee my pants a little every time you tell a story or do a skit
KimMartha – a gal that has it all together and a killer smile to boot. You just make me want to be a better person
Krista – great listener. We haven’t talked much but every time we have talked you are so attentive and make me feel like you are interested in what I have to say – that is a great feeling
Nola – very level headed and practical. You seem to know what you want and have a plan how to get it.
HoPo – beyond talented and artistic. And you have a unique way of looking at every problem. You make me step back and look at things differently. I think you use the opposite side of the brain than I do. It is always good to have more than one perspective on any given problem or challenge.
Dee – a very warm smile. I don’t know you very well but every time we talk I think -I really want to get to know this person better
Not about Me – I always feel like you “get” me. Whenever we talk I am thinking OMG that’s exactly how I feel. I never feel self conscious or feel like I have said something stupid even though I know I have.
Pretty Kitty - very caring and thoughful. you can tell that you love doing things for others and you put so much thought and time into everything you do. You also ground us as a group - you organize events and make getting together so easy. Thank you.

So I hope I haven’t forgotten anyone and that I made at least a few people smile. I find I learn something from each person that I meet and become friends with and I thank you for all that you have taught me. I think that each new friend you meet makes you a better person and a better friend. I also think that you are attracted to different people at different times. If you are looking for someone to just listen you might call one person but if you need someone to kick you in the butt and give you a pep talk then you might call someone else. So that’s what is so great about this group – everyone is so different! Have a great day everyone and I’m looking forward to seeing everyone next Saturday. So thank you all again and Merry Christmas.

Pushing Buttons

My kids will fight about anything. We were running some errands a few nights ago and hubby and I were in the front seat talking about where we had to go. After mentioning several stores I hear from the 5 year old in the back seat - I don’t want to go to Zellers!! I don’t want to go to Zellers! I don’t want to go to ZELLERS! Alright then. Mental note – the kid doesn’t like Zellers. Anyway he is throwing a fit and my two year old looks over at him and very calmly says “ My LOVE Zellers!” (She calls herself “my”) I don’t think she even knows what Zellers is! She just wanted to tick him off! She’s 2. Lord help me.

3rd Installment of the 100 list.

Thank you all so much for all your advise on the last post – we went to see a speech therapist and she thinks that miss A will benefit from seeing someone on a regular basis. We are on the list but I am starting with a private therapist as well. I’m glad that we are being proactive and staring this before her 3 and ½ year testing. So here is the 3rd installment of the 100 list. I hope you enjoy!

1. I like to drive fast (when I am by myself!)
2. I love driving a standard - makes me feel like a race car driver : )
3. My dad taught me to drive a standard – a very unpleasant experience!
4. When I was in high school we used to take a friend’s old sunfire (nickname – the sunchicken) on old back roads and see if we could get stuck. Usually we succeeded in the middle of nowhere. Sometimes it took us hours to get unstuck – good times : )
5. My first boyfriend’s name was FJ Ferran – I can still remember our first kiss – walking back from skating on the pond near my grandparents.
6. He ran away from home just after we started officially dating – he had a really terrible family life. He didn’t tell me he was going to run away. The police came to school with his sister and asked me if I knew where he was. When I didn’t, they and asked me to give them for the only picture that I had of him.
7. I didn’t date again until I reached University.
8. My second boyfriend didn’t tell me that he was dating someone else until I received a very nasty letter from her. He lived with her brother. He had been trying to break up with her for a while but she just wasn’t getting it. She got it when I entered the picture. He also had a really bad family life (I’m seeing a pattern here). We broke up when he decided to go to Kingston to the military college.
9. We kept in touch for a long time but I lost track of him about 5 years ago. I keep hoping that he will show up on Facebook.
10. I love chocolate
11. I used to be a Coca-Cola addict – drank at least 2 cans a day. When I got pregnant I cut back to one can a week. I still try to limit the amount I have but I still love it.
12. I ‘m not really a fan of chips or salty things but I’ll eat them if I have coke to go with
13. I’m not a big fan of cheesy foods – cheeseburgers, pizza with cheese, casseroles covered in cheese.
14. I hate mashed potatoes – I was forced to eat them as a kid and can’t stand to eat them now. I am able to eat them if I have lots of gravy or Epicure spices in them.
15. I like to cook but get really frustrated when I spend an hour making supper and the kids won’t eat it and the husband eats so fast that he doesn’t even taste it. Seriously – he can have his plate clean in about 3 minutes.
16. I wish I had a bigger kitchen
17 I hate cleaning up after a big meal.
18 I love potluck dinners – so many choices!!
19 I love having friends over for dinner
20 I hate it when people say they like your food then later tell everyone else that it was terrible (true story – he is so off my guest list!) If you don’t like it then don’t eat it : )
21. The night before having friends over is a mad dash to clean up. I wish I could keep more on top of the mess so inviting friends over would be easier
22 I would like to hire a cleaning person but my husband thinks it is a waste of money.
23. I am trying to take control of the clutter in my house but it is a long exhausting process
24. I hope I can get control of my clutter before the kids learn too many bad habits.
25. When I was growing up our house was always a mess – I never invited friends over. I don’t want my kids having the same problem.

Cat what???

I finally made an appointment for a speech language pathologist for my 2 and a half year old daughter. She was a late talker. She is finally saying words and sentences but most of the time we don't have a clue what is trying to tell us. Very frustrating! Here are my top 5 favorites head scratchers:

Ice means yes. When we ask her to say it again it comes out like "icessss"

Cocs means Crocs. That one is not to far off but I still wince every time she shows people her shoes.

Icky translates to Eric(a little boy at daycare). His mother wasn't to impressed with that one!

Boap means soap. When we practice it in the tub she will say "sssss-Boap"

Cat piss means ketchup. The waitress at pizza delight will never be the same after that request.

I can't remember ever having this problem with my son. He talked quite early and it was always quite clear. I had her hearing tested last week just to make sure that wasn't the problem and she passed with flying colors. So now we are waiting for our appointment with the speech therapist. The waiting list is 9 months long! I called "Talk with Me" early language services but the programs they have coming up are all offered during the day. So we wait. Does anyone else have any suggestions?

Bummed

I went to my nutritionist yesterday and the first thing we do is look over what I have eaten over the past 2 weeks. She's reading in total silence and I'm thinking CRAP - why didn't I just lie. I had way to much birthday cake, onion rings (900 calories) , cheesecake and chocolate cake(probably 1000 calories), and I ate out twice for my birthday so it was bad! She looks up at me and says "Do you WANT to loose weight" She's totally right - I have been making bad choices and there is no excuse for it. To make things worse, since Monday I have had back pain with shooting pains down my left leg and now my foot is asleep about 70% of the time. I think it is because I didn't move around enough during the crop this weekend. I have been trying to exercise but after about 15 minutes I get the shooting pains and have to quit. There is no way that I can lose weight without exercising! So I am just really bummed and I can't seem to snap out of it. And I'm still so frigging tired from the weekend and it's Friday! The kids have been up quite a bit at night and they call for me, not hubby, since they weren't really keen on me leaving them for the weekend. I would love to have a full nights sleep this weekend but my family wants me to go home on Saturday because she didn't get to see me on my Birthday. I really want to see them but the thought of 4 hours in a car with this pain in my back gets me even more bummed. It probably feels worse because I had such a great time this weekend and was on such a "high" that it's a long way down when you are feeling depressed. So that's it - I'm done complaining. I really hate complaining and I try not to do it often but it feels good to get it out especially when I know I'm among friends. I am making a promise to myself right now to eat better next week and exercise as much as I can and hopefully this funk will disappear. Wish me luck.

0mega - 3 Fatty Acids

In my constant battle to shed some pounds I decided I would try a different approach and I started seeing a nutritionist. On Friday I found out a little tidbit that I wanted to share with you all. We all know that omega-3's are good for you and we need about 300-500mg a day for optimal health benefits but what I didn't know is that there are a lot of enhanced products on the market that do not contain the active form. You must specifically look for EPA and DHA on the packaging. I have been taking flax seed in the morning (and sneaking into the kids diet) to get Omega - 3's but it turns out that it does not contain any of the active forms. Here is the direct quote from the pamphlet "Plant sources of omega three, such as flax seed, nuts, etc. provide the omega three in the ALA form which is considered inactive. Animal based sources, such as fish, and certain eggs and yogurt provide the omega three in its active state of DHA and EPA" So if you are buying a product because you think it is a source of omega-3 then make sure it mentions DHA and EPA on the packaging because if it doesn't then it probably contains the ALA form. The good news is that if you have fish twice a week then you are getting your requirement since your body stores the excess. If you don't eat fish then you might consider looking into a supplement. There are quite a few on the market. Have a healthy eating day everyone!

Oh - I should mention that flax seed is still a great addition to your diet for many other reasons(it is a phytoestrogen, lowers cholesterol, and is an excellent source of fiber to name a few). It just does not any active Omega-3's.

My Wedding Day!

I wanted a church wedding – But I wanted it small. Nothing extravagant – just immediate family. I wanted to keep the cost to a minimum. I didn’t want to go in debt before we even began our life together and I didn’t want to spend $10,000 on one day. But my mom wanted to invite everyone she knew - she has 6 brothers and sisters all with kids and grandkids and she wanted them all there. And DH’s mom has 4 siblings with kids and grand kids and she thought they all should be invited too. This is pretty normal – parents always want to invite everyone right? I gave in because I figured my family is pretty low key so they wouldn’t expect any huge celebration - just a few sandwiches and sweets and dance and everyone would be happy. I also figured since all of DH’s relative lived in Ontario there wouldn’t be a huge turn out from his side. Wrongo! Every invitation that was sent to Upper Canada, except one, came back with a “yes” reply! The one “no” response that came back was because she was due to have a baby the day before the wedding. I don’t know why she didn’t just have the baby in the car on the way here – it could have been a double celebration. So Holy Crap – 150 people were coming to my little wedding! My sandwich and sweets idea went right down the crapper! Since everyone was coming all this way we decided that we should have a big turkey dinner. I had never planned anything this big before so I really had no way to know what needed to be done. And my mom – God love her - was no help. I was SO not prepared for what happened that day! My reception was at the Legion in Hillsborough. We show up after the rehearsal dinner to decorate and they wouldn’t let us in. They didn’t want us in there until after the legion has closed. I’m sure the 2 old timers playing cards wouldn’t have minded but whatever! We twiddled our thumbs until they finally let us in at about 10pm. So we stayed up until 2 blowing up balloons and putting up streamers. By the end of it we were all exhausted and I was just throwing things on the walls to get rid of it all. But it looked ok – I was happy with the results. The next morning we get up bright and early to go to the hair dressers and are there for about 3 hours because all of DH’s aunts also had to get their hair done. But we were ok – we still had lots of time – I thought! We get out of the hair dressers and are told that no one picked up the flowers. My maid of honor and I head over to the co-op in full make up and hairdo’s to pick them up. We got some strange looks let me tell you! We then had to figure out a way to get them to the groom and groomsmen without seeing DH. We managed to get it done! – one crisis adverted. We rushed back to the B& B to get dressed and things go pretty smoothly until just after the ceremony. (I had one little panic attack just before going down the isle but I guess that’s pretty normal from what I hear) It was really hot inside the church so once the ceremony was over we stood outside for a while just enjoying the slight breeze and chatting with the guests. We head off for pictures and all seems good. After we are finished my photographer is packing up his stuff and I see DH’s aunt storming in my direction with a really nasty look on her face. She informs me that it is tradition that DH’s whole family have a group picture taken at all weddings. She is bitching to me that they all didn’t get their hair done for no reason. I had no idea that there needed to be a family picture. Holy Crap – the photographer is all packed up. I rush over and ask if he would mind taking one more picture. Thank God he said yes! Well by the time we found a place for the picture and got everyone organized, this one picture took about 20 minutes. And by this time it was stinking hot – the hottest day of the year so far! I am sweating bullets and my feet are swelling beyond recognition. My hair has fallen out of the updo that I had going on and I want to just sit down and relax. We head over to the legion and we had a great surprise. When we opened the door it was like walking into a wall of heat! It was an oven in there! The elderly ladies that did all the cooking and setup look pale and sickly. One of the ladies walks directly over to me as I step in the door and says “why didn’t you have salads and cold cuts dear?” I know they were just hot and tired but holy crap – I had no idea what a scorther it was going to be that day. It is usually quite nice in Hillsborough because we are right on a river and there is a cold breeze. Not today! Everyone had been asking for water while our pictures were being taken and the ladies got very frustrated trying to cook the dinner. So everything is running late. We decide to have the reception line before we sit down while the ladies were still setting up. We all stand there like idiots because nobody comes up! I felt like I was at a grade 9 dance. It turns out that since most people talked to us while we were standing outside the church nobody felt the need to go through the lineup. Very Embarrassing! After the longest 5 minutes of my life I call it off and we head to our seats. The ladies start to serve the food. Well I notice that there are quite a few empty seats – it’s just too darn hot in there and everyone is outside! And then one of the ladies that is serving passes out cold from the heat. Could it get any worse? They get her revived and she seems fine but everyone is visibly shaken. They are eventually able to get out the rest of the meal but guess what – nobody is eating! Who wants to eat turkey when you are sitting in a room that is about 100 degrees! And all the wine that we had out is gone. This makes for a great combination by the way – lots of wine and no food : ) After dinner we wanted to do speeches but again everyone is outside. Brad and I stand up to say “thank you for coming” to the five people that are inside standing at the bar and the kitchen staff (minus the lady that passed out) and that is all that is said. All the speeches that we had planned never got said. What are you going to do? I understand why everyone was outside – but it makes for lousy wedding. We eventually just went outside and chatted with everyone out there. The DJ shows up to set up and the nice little old ladies in the kitchen doing dishes won’t let him bring in any his stuff. They want everything cleaned up before he is even allowed in the door. And they are running at least an hour behind. So by the time he gets in and sets up it is about 10:30 pm and a lot of people have already gone home. Thankfully, when the DJ set up, he put a fan on the dance floor and we are able to get some kids up dancing. I’m excited because people finally seem to be enjoying themselves. My MIL had planned a very elaborate spread for 10:30 which would have been a godsend because nobody has eaten. She goes to the plug in cooler that she brought (because she wasn’t allowed to use the fridge in the kitchen) and the dial on the cord has been turned to heat instead of cold. Everything she made was rotten – shrimp salad, crab dip, pate of some sort, meats, cheese - all bad. She is in tears. She spent hours and hours making all of this stuff and nothing is salvageable. She has a few bags of chips and some buttered rolls and that’s it. I felt so bad. But what could I do? Not a damn thing! So it finally starts to cool down inside and people start dancing a bit and I finally think that thing are going to ok when the bartender storms out from behind the bar tells the DJ to stop the music. She announces that if she sees one more liquor bottle in the legion that does not come from her bar she is shutting the whole place down. Well you could have heard a pin drop! Everybody sat down and just sat quietly. I am totally mortified! I’m thinking - I just can’t wait for this evening to end. I try to mingle around and improve the mood but it’s just no use – nobody is having any fun. At midnight I just can’t take it anymore. I borrow my friend’s sandals because I can no longer walk in my shoes because my feet have swelled so badly and I start walking to our B&B. DH’s mom comes running out to ask what should be done with all the gifts and I tell her that I’m sure that my mom and dad can handle it from here. She called me ungrateful but I just kept walking. DH caught up to me about halfway there and we walked in silence until we reached the B&B. I just wanted to go to sleep and forget the whole day even happened. During the night some idiot decided that my car needed to be trashed. They jimmied the window and filled the entire car with rice crispies. The put shaving cream on the tires and door handles. They toilet papered the outside and put confetti in all the air vents. They put an entire tube of toothpaste just under the windshield wipers where we couldn’t see it. We noticed it when we reached Cape Breton and it started to pour. Did you know that toothpaste REALLY foams up when spread in a thin layer across your windshield in the rain? To top it all off the best man passed out in my maid of honors bedroom after he walked her home and his wife wouldn’t speak to him for a month. I thought that I was going to be the reason for their divorce! Oh yeah – and since none of DH's family had ever been to the Maritimes we all went camping together in Cape Breton and PEI for our honeymoon. Never, never do that! We always said that there would be lots of opportunity for a honeymoon later on but it just never happened. So that’s my wedding story. It was long and painful to write but hopefully I will be able to read it over in a few years and laugh at it all. Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

Secret Santa? What's that?

I'm struggling with the next 25 on my list so I have to switch gears for a bit. I totally suck at this Secret Santa thing. I can't even give you the details about how stupid I am because it would make it worse. I am afraid that I have said to much already. There is no way that I am going to make it until December. My only hope is to buy my gift now and put it away and forget that I am even involved because every time I open my mouth - Wham - I am an idiot again! Even writing this post is probably a big no no. So the people that I was an idiot in front of - please forgive me - and please please please don't tell anyone what I said. The only good news is that I have narrowed down one person from the list of who might have me - it's a start! I have a suspicion about who it might be but nothing to back it up. I guess you could say my spidy sense is tingling. Man I loved that cartoon! So don't be surprised if when you start to talk about SS I get that glazed look and totally tune out - it's on purpose. The less I know, the less I can spill.

Part 2....

I am so overwhelmed by the response to my last post. You girls are amazing – not only are you there for each other but you have no hesitation when someone new joins in. I know Princess has mentioned this before but I just want to add what a unique quality I think this is. It says so much about each and every one of you. You All Rock!

So that being said I will continue with the list.

26. I sang in the Hillsborough Girls Choir for 7 years – grade 6 through 12. I started as a soprano and eventually moved to second soprano. Practices were every Saturday from 9-12!
27. I played 1st clarinet in high school band so all of my noon hours were spent in the music room.
28. I NEVER when to band camp or any camp for that matter
29. I went to UNB because I wanted to be just a number – I wanted to loose my choir and band girl stereotype and start fresh
30. I went crazy my first year of University –I never drank in high school but by the end of my first year I was buying a case of beer AND a pint for a Saturday night
31. I have no idea how I passed most of my classes that year.
32. I once went to a guys room after a social and got really scared when I realized the situation that I had put myself in. I asked for a glass of water and when he went to get me one I bolted. I can’t remember his name or even what he looked like
33. I have never hugged my dad
34. I tried hugging my mom once and it was very weird and uncomfortable so I have never done it again.
35. I hug my kids everyday!
36. It took my friends Kara and Mel to help me get over my dislike of hugging. They both came from a family of huggers so I was pretty weirded out by their attempts to hug me. Eventually they broke me down : ) but it still feels awkward with some people.
37. I am very shy about being naked. When I was in University I would sneak over to the washroom every day to change. I thought nobody noticed until at the end of the year they gave me the Superwoman award. My roommate had to explain it to me because again – I did not think anyone noticed me doing this! Very Embarrassing!
38. Because of #37 I never thought I would breastfeed but I nursed both kids until they were over 12 months old. I could never get them to take a soother or a bottle!
39. I would like to volunteer for a breastfeeding group.
40. I had a very short – but intense – labor. I started contractions at 3pm and by 4pm I was holding my baby!
41. I went through both labours drug free. Not by choice – I begged for something for the pain but the doctor kept saying “you’re ready to push, you’re ready to push!” They had to yell at me to get me to calm down – I was totally freaking out. It friggin hurt.
42. I have never forgotten the pain of childbirth
43. My mom came in with me when I had my baby boy and said it was a horrible experience – she refused to come in with me for baby #2.
44. When we were planning for a second child I followed rules I found online for conceiving a girl- it worked!
45. I met my husband at a Groundhog Day party
46. My wedding day was the worst day of my life – that will be a post all unto itself.
47. I have read all of Ann Rice’s books – even the dirty ones : )
48. Matthew McConaughey is my boyfriend.
49. My Favorite Movie is “Four Weddings and a Funeral”
50. I love the show – “My Name is Earl”
.

Part 1 of the 100 List...

I wrote this about a month ago just for my own personal reasons but decided I would like to share it here with Ch'all. I'll keep plugging away at the next 25.

25 things about me that people might not know about me:

I hate talking about myself.
I am very shy.
I love to sing.
I have always dreamed of releasing a hit single
I wonder if I will ever be happy – or even satisfied – with who I am right now.
I love to learn new things.
I don’t mind being called a geek.
I miss my university days – miss my friends, the excitement of the weekends and feeling like part of a group.
I think my sister Lisa is really funny. She can always make me laugh. I wish I could be more like her.
I feel very disconnected from my youngest sister. There is a huge age difference and I missed her growing up while I was away at university. I hope that someday we will be able to find something in common that we can laugh about and share with each other.
I wish I had dated more guys before I got married.
I love the color green.
I love to take pictures and look at other peoples pictures.
I failed 2 classes in university – calculus and organic chemistry
The only A+ I ever got was in Computer Science
I am proud that I was able to finish University – the last years were very difficult and I did not think that I would get all the credits I needed
I went back to University about 3 years ago, took 10 Computer Science courses and got a Certificate in Software Development.
I hate to exercise.
My son broke my heart when he bit a kid at daycare. It changed the way I thought about him and my parenting skills.
I love my kids more than I thought I could ever love anyone.
I don’t really have a best friend right now. Don’t get me wrong – I have lots of friends but nobody that I feel comfortable sitting down and sharing my deepest darkest fears without having to explain my entire past.
I feel like I can’t be truthful about who I really am with people I meet. I feel like I should always be the happy fat girl
My husband married the happy fat girl and is now meeting the depressed cranky bitch.
I wonder if the problems in our marriage stem from my dislike of myself. I hope I can figure it out before the divorce : )
I hate to cry. I avoid it at all cost.

We hardly Ever eat out...

We were driving past McDonald's yesterday or should I say the lack of McDonald's and I turn to my oldest and say "Look Bud, The McDonald's building is gone! His immediate reaction - to cry - slow pathetic sobs. I'm thinking why did I have to even mention it - I should have just kept my mouth shut! I try desperately to put a positive spin on it by telling him that the new one will have a bigger and better play structure! His response- louder sobs. "But I liked the old one" he responds. Man, Some days you just can't win! Later on as we pass by again I hear from the backseat "Goodbye old McDonald's - I'll miss you" OMG- the therapy bills are going to be huge!

Friday Funny

I would like to share a story from this summer to end the week with a smile. My little boy comes up with the strangest things. I often wonder how his brain works. Keep in mind as you read this that he was only four when this conversation happened!

Me: I would love a kiss from my favorite boy.
him: but I already gave you a kiss!
Me: But two is always better than one!
him: (long pause with that 'deep in thought' look on his face) Yeah..Except if you are talking about mosquito bites - then one is better than two.

I love it when a kiss from me makes him think of a mosquito bite!

Picking a title for my blog..

Well here I am. I have joined the blogging world! I decided last week that it was time to begin my journey into the blogger realm. I loaded up the page all ready to write then realized that I hadn't even thought about a title - dilemma! So I will start up with how I came up with Stumbling on Happiness. I am fortunate enough to be able to listen to music at work so I have a little player that I use when I am doing long boring tasks that require no brainpower. Music started to get a little boring after a while so I went in search of something different. My coworker told me about pod casts and showed me how to download them to my player then he gave me a few of his favorites. In this bunch was a podcast from TED talks and the speaker was Dan Gilbert. It was totally fascinating! He talks about how your brain can change the reactions to situations to make you happy - he calls it synthetic happiness. What a concept! Think about it - we, as human beings, have the capacity to manufacture that in which we are constantly chasing! How cool is that! Even when you don't get exactly what you want your brain can make you believe that you have and it is just a lasting as true happiness. If you have a chance pop onto the site and have a listen at http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/97. He gives examples and stats to support his theories and explains it much better that I could ever do here. So it just seemed an appropiate title because of my own struggle with happiness and my hopes to eventually stumble apon it. I have learned a lot this past year about what happiness is and I can tell you honestly that when you have great friends you don't need to synthsize a thing!