Tuesday, January 29, 2008
The Master Plan
I have a coworker who is very open about the fact that she knew she would never have children. It never even crossed her mind. One of my university friends says the same thing. They are the only 2 people that I have ever heard say that they knew that they were never cut out to have children. My coworker compared it to being gay – you just know. I don’t quite agree with the gay analogy but I understood the point that she was making. I find it completely fascinating that both of these people knew from day one that parenthood was not for them. What would that feel like? I can’t remember a time when kids were not in my future plans. That makes me wonder if I became a parent only because it was expected of me. Am I following some master plan – go to university, get married, buy a house, have some kids. So far it seems I am right on track – that is a little disturbing for me. But here is the question - did I ever consider not doing any of those things? Am I doing all of this because that is what people are supposed to do? I don’t know? I hope not. I have to say that I went to University because my mom told me that I was going. It was never really and option for me not to go. But I am so glad that I did. They were some of the best years of my life. Not only did I learn a lot from my classes but I learned a lot about myself. I don’t want to think of the person I would have been without those years. Getting Married – well – who doesn't have days that they are frustrated or angry with the other half but truthfully I can’t imagine being married to anyone else. My house – hated paying rent – knew it was a good investment. And my kids - of course there are some days that I wonder if I was cut out to be a parent. Am I am making the right decisions, am I raising them correctly? But I think every parent asks those questions. I know that I make poor decisions but I try to learn from it and make better decisions next time. When you know better, you do better. On VERY bad days I think “what have I done?” but luckily I just have to look into their face and everything becomes clear. Every morning when my son turns around just before going to the bus and yells “ I love you Mommy” and runs back to give me a hug, my heart melts. Or when little A snuggles up on the couch with me and strokes my hair just like I do to her at bedtime, I know that this was meant to be. So, even if I am following some master plan, it led me to my kids and for that I am grateful.
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8 comments:
I did the university thing because it was expected of me and that's it. I loved the courses I took, but I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, nor where to go and who to speak to in regards to future planning, education, and career.
I did and do want the husband and house, but I won't settle for anything less than "perfect for me". Not perfect. Just perfect for me. Because of that, I will remain single until I find it. I've seen too many people settle for second best and they have regretted it.
I knew from the time I was 14 that I wanted kids. Lots of kids - like 6 of them. Now that I am 33 ... I am getting older and I am now at the point where I don't think I want kids now. If I did have kids, obviously I wouldn't have 6. Although, were I to have kids now, I would have to have fertility treatment .... so I could very well end up with 6.
Sorry about writing a book here ... very gabby all of a sudden. LOL
you can write a book anytime - thank you for sharing with me : )
I am following the same plan, different order but same idea. Sometimes you wonder if it is just what you are expected to do but I like expecting the unexpected.
I believe in fate and destiny. Sometimes we try to will stuff to happen to us but really what happens is meant to happen. I do believe that we have some control over what we attract to ourselves...like if you are always a negative person at work you are not really attracting that promotion however if you play your cards right the promotion will happen...maybe not when you want it to exactly but eventually it will.
I didn't want kids. I have 2 now. I guess I was meant to have them. I did all the right things that led me to have them so I guess I was destined to be a mom. Hopefully I haven't screwed them up too badly.
I love the post Les, its very thought provoking and I think your right, there is a master plan and for those who don't follow it there is some stigma there in others eyes, or maybe I should say "wonder". I have a couple of friends who have said the same thing "no kids" and they went on to Univeristy, excelled, eventually got married and one of them travels the world.
She and her hubby are madly in love, he was married before with one grown child.
I think you must know yourself pretty well to be able to decide that and follow through with it.
I always wanted kids, 2 to be exact but I'm still waiting on the 2nd, mind you that means I need a new husband and I'm working on that too...LOL (just joking)
Very interesting post. I think there is a master plan, one just deviates here and there depending on circumstance. I think if you have the university education, the house, hubby and wonderful kids, your plan sounds like it was pretty darn successful. : )
Beautiful post Les! I hope there is a plan, having a little left to fate makes me feel reassured that the decisions we make are right.
I managed to completely take the master plan and run it over with a transport truck. But not on purpose....it just sort of happened. I think whether we stay on our track or get off it, it all works out for the best. i wouldn't change anything about how I got to where I am.
:-)
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