P inspired me today! You can read her blog here. I love it when that happens : ) I too am naive and trusting. And like P, I would rather be naïve and trusting than closed and cynical- life is too short! I am trying(sometimes not successfully) to concentrate on living in the moment and not overanalyze too much of what happened in the past. It doesn't matter how much I regret something I did or wish that it some event didn’t happen - It won’t change the fact that it did happen. I need to learn to accept, apologize if need be (or accept an apology) and move on. I can’t keep replaying it in my head – that only lets the anger live on. The event could be over days ago and I am still angry about it just because I am thinking about it – that is crazy! The only thing that really matters, the only thing I can be, is who I am right at this second! I can’t change the past or future.
In an ideal world if I offended someone or someone offended me then we would discuss it and deal with it and move past it. With really close friends and family I am able to do this easily. The difficult part comes when you don’t know how to tell a person that you are upset or that they upset you. You then talk about the incident with other friends and family and the disagreement lives on in the telling of the story and the anger gets fed and grows. It takes on a life of its own.
Even if I sincerely apologize to someone then they may not be able to accept it and I have to be ok with it. I recently got in a disagreement with my sister. I called her up 2 days later and apologized because I said things in the heat of the moment that I regretted. She didn’t accept my apology and is still very angry. I can’t change that. If she wants to say malicious things to other people about me then I can’t change that either. Her venting about me to others doesn’t change the fact that I am sorry for what I said and I told her that. There are things that she did that upset me but I’m not going to dwell on that either. It’s over. I don’t want to be burdened with that anger anymore. So my final thoughts : ) You can’t change the past – you can only live in the present. When you know better – you do better!
5 comments:
Very true Les....Great post today!!!!!
This is so true, the more you talk about it the worse you make it.
People need to take responsibility for the things they do and create, say you did it, then move on.
That's really great advice! Thanks
Very true Les. I have apologized for stuff I may have done and now I can only live my life in the present moment. If others cannot accept the apology and move on than it is unfortunate for them. I have let stuff go months ago and that it is still coming up indicates that maybe people need to move forward and stop dwelling on something that already happened and cannot be undone. My sister and I have forgiven each other and moved forward since the incident after my mother died so I think we could all learn from this post.
This was a very good post.
Great post Les -and P of course...
I have to say that I agree with you - sometimes its difficult - I agree completely - I try to live by a certain rule of thumb and that is - never put anythign in writing that you dont want repeated over and over again - I have to tell you - it works for me - lots of times I dont/wont comment until i'm pretty fed up - for that particular reason - I have lots of opinions but dont ant them scewed (that is spelled sooo wrong) and hashed and re-hashed etc...so as to ignite the fire...I'd rather tell the person/people to their face how i feel and where i stand - and then be done!
hmm i need to post more...LOL
Loved the awakening stuff - would love to get together with you sometime to talk about it...
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